Writing is Forcing Me to be More Vulnerable (and it’s Scary)

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   Photo by Salemi Wenda on Unsplash

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided to start a blog two years ago. Looking back, starting a blog is one of the best decisions I have made.

This great decision hasn’t come free of struggle. When I first started my expectations were low. I barely knew what I was going to write about.

I knew that I wanted to write about health but I wasn’t sure exactly which sub-topic I wanted to pursue.

In the first 6 months of starting my blog, I published four posts. Two of the articles got into a Medium publication.

For some reason, I thought that tons of people would read them and I could start building my email list.

The opposite happened of course.  I gave up on Medium and writing short-form posts for a long time.

Instead, I took a course which taught me how to write ultimate guides. Writing ultimate guides helped me learn more about the writing process but I wasn’t publishing anything weekly.

I got good at producing a large number of words per day but I started to feel isolated. After publishing two guides, I started writing more short-form posts earlier this year.

Through my writing journey I am finding that if I don’t share bits and pieces about myself, my posts come out rather clinical and flat.

When I published my guides the number one piece of advice that I got from my friends was that they wanted more of my personal story.

This at the time this confused me. Especially since they have known me for years. I thought that they would want actionable advice to overcome their problem.

I am learning that by sharing my story, readers relate by finding common ground in their story.

This is great and all but it means that as a writer I am forced to be more vulnerable. Perhaps forced is a strong word but bearing your soul on paper all the time is a bit uncomfortable.

Thoughts race through my head like:

“What if I went too far in that post?”

“Did I come across too strong?”

“ I feel really weird and naked right now.”

One of my favorite coaches Rich Litvin says, “ You know you went deep if you have a vulnerability hangover the next day.”

Knowing this gives me some comfort but going deep is still uncomfortable.

I want to relate more to my readers but when should I draw the line? Should I tell my readers that I cried on the couch during my meditation session before writing my blog post for the day?

Writing helps me move through my struggles with depression but talking about the process still feels strange.

Since I was a teenager I have struggled with depression. Writing on a consistent basis is helping me keep out of my deepest cycles of depression.

In the last six months, I have written myself out of my most severe moments of depression. This is promising. But I still have a lot of ground to cover.

My vulnerability with writing increases when the dreaded imposter syndrome pops up. I suspect that on some level I will always deal with this struggle but it’s still scary just the same.

I am learning to combat my imposter syndrome by being more vulnerable and speaking from my true self.

When I write more from the heart rather than brain the opposite happens than what I expect. I write on Quora a lot and when I weave bits of personal story in my answer, I get more upvotes and engagement.

This encourages me to keep going despite the fears I have about being vulnerable. I am learning that the more you share ( authentically) the better your writing becomes.

Logically this makes sense but putting it into practice remains quite the challenge. I truly enjoy writing and this helps me with being more authentic and vulnerable.

One of my biggest goals is to connect with more people through my writing.

Since I have been more open to sharing more of in my writing I am noticing that more people are signing up to my email list.

This is promising because through connecting with more people my desire is to create clients so I can help others while supporting myself through a coaching practice.

Many of my friends who create daily don’t think about monetizing or they are turned off by the fact they can make money through their art.

I think that having this mindset is limiting. If you find a way to connect with others through your writing and then make a living in the process, then you are able to connect with more people.

Making money and writing becomes easier each day. The proof of this is all over the internet.

Monetizing your writing does not mean you are selling out. Conversely, it gives you the ability to impact on a larger scale.

Being more vulnerable is one of the ways to reach your desired audience.

I will continue to share and be more vulnerable despite it being scary. Its better in the long run and I know that I will impact so many more people.

I am more open as a person in my daily life. This shows and people are more open to me in turn. My whole life is more authentic. You can do the same.

Vulnerability is scary but it creates a better life for you and everyone around you.

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