New York City 2012.
I moved here knowing hardly anyone right after Hurricane Sandy. I was grateful that I landed a restaurant job despite the devastation.
For 6 years I worked in that restaurant and developed a close friendship with two of my co-workers.
We ate, drank, and traveled all over the US together. I was thankful to have close friends in a city that can chew you up and spit you out.
Around 2014, I realized that it was time to take control of my health. My friends were skeptical of my new diet and made fun of it.
Quickly they realized I was serious and for the most part left me alone about it.
As I progressed into my new healthy lifestyle I began a spiritual practice. For several years I seamlessly was able to grow and keep my friend group.
In late 2016 my two friends and I were in Vegas on one of our trips. We drank and danced in the hotel room before going out. As the Tito’s vodka bottle got emptier the crazier we became.
A few hours later, we finally arrived at the first club.
I blissfully did a twirl on the dance floor. I was taking lots of ballet class at the time so I had pretty good balance even while drunk.
Then I did another twirl…and splat…I fell face-first on the floor.
I thought I knocked my front teeth out. Anxiously I asked the bartender what she saw.
Thankfully I was fine.
But that was the last day I ever got that drunk or went on vacation with my restaurant friends. Once we got back home I started to pull away.
You don’t lose anything even though it feels like you’ve lost everything
Distancing myself from my two friends was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I value friendship and I’m loyal to almost a fault. But I had to let my spiritual growth blossom.
I felt as though I was losing everything and getting nothing back in return.
Perhaps you’re going through the same thing right now.
This process may take some time and that’s ok.
Once you let go of relationships that don’t serve it’s best that go deep within and become a true friend to yourself.
Your spiritual awakening allows you to do that even though most times it’s painful to start.
I sat my friends down and told them what was happening in my life. They did not want to come along my chosen path.
Even though I knew this already it was very sad to officially tell them.
You don’t have to break up with your friends as I did. Sometimes they’ll just fall out of your life.
Other times its best to have a proper conversation.
You’ll know what works for you.
A big part of the awakening process is letting go
As you begin your awakening journey you’ll be called to let go of lots of things. Foods, habits, and beliefs will change drastically.
Some things are easier to let go than others.
I must admit that letting go of most things that didn’t serve me was much easier than letting go of my two friends.
Even though years have passed since I had that “official” conversation I still think about them and miss them.
If you find yourself frequently reminiscing let the thoughts flow. You have lots of love. It’s healthy to process your growth and then move on.
You’ll become a true friend to yourself
Depending on your awakening journey you might have to let go of most people in your life.
This may cause you to feel so lonely that words cannot describe it.
Understand that the situation you’re in is temporary. You’ll find people that match your vibration and that will be part of your tribe.
In the meantime, it’s best to go deep within and learn more about yourself.
For years now I’ve been pretty much alone. Yes, I have a few friends but for the most part, I’m by myself learning and growing.
I know that this won’t always be the case even though sometimes it feels like it will be.
Take this time to love yourself more than you ever have before. Learn what you want and don’t want in relationships.
Focus on awakening.
In time you’ll have deep relationships that will pale in comparison to your former ones.